I remember the outrage in Steve’s voice. He was a better drummer than me, and played with the best local jazz/rock band. I was due to dep for him while he saw his girlfriend, but the gig was suddenly cancelled. “Sorry, mate, it’s off. The band’s split up. Gordon’s left”.
“You’re kidding! When you were about to get a deal? Why?” “He’s gone to London” said Steve. “Gonna be a rock star, he reckons. He’s started a trio”. “A trio?” I replied, incredulous. “Is he mad? What’s it called?” “The Police”. “What a crap name”, I replied.
Proving, as it does, how little I know, this true story from more than thirty years ago did at least engender a rueful respect. I’m forever sorry my gig with Last Exit didn’t come off, but it’s hard to question that Gordon, his real name forever replaced with the ‘Sting’ that started as a joke, has impeccable judgement. He’s shown it again today with his comments on X Factor. He lamented its cruelty, derided its judges’ lack of talent, and described it as nothing but karaoke, which has put music back decades.
After his devastating and entirely accurate put-down, I feel I should offer some balancing comments in favour. It’s the ex-BBC journalist in me, you know. Here goes. X Factor is fantastic telly. Er..
At amazing, we shout ‘Amen’ to all Sting’s points, but there’s another sin to be placed on the charge sheet; we loathe X Factor above all, for the way it treats its contestants. The record industry has a long history of abusing musicians, but X Factor elevates it to high art. Over the years, a number of ex-Xes have been on or near to amazingtunes.com. Brenda Edwards, the finalist of four years ago with that season’s outstanding voice, almost released a single via amazing. Because she didn’t conform to the bubble gum image favoured by Simon Svengali, she’d been left high and dry when she left the show. Lovely woman, fabulous voice; cruelly treated. A year ago there was reported consternation in ITV when it emerged that the stunningly-talented Laura White had uploaded two songs she wrote herself to amazingtunes.com before she signed Mr. Cowell’s contract. Because those songs predated her X Factor signature, they couldn’t do much about it – but boy, did Laura feel the weight of his telephone book-sized contract, bearing down on her. Finally, a whole year later, she’s managed to release a single of her own. I really hope it works for her. I wonder if she now feels forced to be a different kind of artist, not what she would naturally have been, because X Factor has imposed certain expectations on her.
To me, this is the most pernicious thing about X Factor – the way it puts an artist in cold storage once they’re booted off. We know it’s musically risible, and we don’t have to watch its artificial nonsense. But its treatment of former contestants is an authentic disgrace. They cannot do anything – anything apart from what Mr. Cowell decides, that is. He behaves like a feudal lord, tossing scraps to the servants. If the management can make a buck from appearances in some crummy club, the contestants have to go. (They have to pay for their own breakfast, too. So much for the red carpet treatment). It gives the lie to the claim that X Factor gives people access to opportunity. In truth, it gives Simon Cowell access to cannon fodder, telegenic raw material for a money-making machine which makes absolutely certain it’s the only thing to benefit. Former contestants don’t stand a chance of making an independent living as musicians until he’s good and ready. They’re in silent limbo for months. Cruel indeed.
This is bad enough for someone with little musical experience who briefly dances with fame before returning to a real life where they’ll be recognized in the streets for a few years, or switch on the Christmas lights in their nearest town. For a genuine musical talent, someone who was writing their own material before they picked up the poisoned pen to sign on the dotted line, it’s a despicable restraint of trade.
Tags: Laura White, Sting, X Factor
